Beanstalker and Other Hilarious Scarytales

May 15, 2017
Zombies and vampires and Grimm, oh my!Nothing is quite what it seems in these morbidly fractured fairy tales. In the prologue, readers meet a prince with no eyebrows and a Rapunzel with a mohawk. But wait--what about her fair hair? A simple but dangerous mistake, it seems, as the narrator explains: "I thought she was saying hair, as in the thing that grows out of your head and on your arms and sometimes on your face....But really she was saying herr, which is the German word for 'lord'!" As it turns out, Rapunzel's fair Herr is a very large, very angry snake, Cinderella is a pyromaniac, and Red Riding Hood has had a bit too much of that vile pease porridge. White offers nine short tales, each prefaced by creepy inversions of classic children's rhymes ("What are little girls made of? / Brains and wails and people entrails, / That's what little girls are made of!"), all woven together by a wickedly irreverent narrator ("FEE FIE FOE FUM, JACK, THAT PLAN WAS REALLY DUMB..."). Some may find the stories and accompanying illustrations a bit too scary, but White's abundantly evident glee keeps things from getting too dark. In keeping with the stories' European origins, nearly all characters are white--except for a few who have turned an undead-shade of gray.... Disturbingly delightful. (Fractured fairy tales. 8-12)

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May 1, 2017

Gr 4-6-Best-selling YA author White makes her middle grade debut in this creepy but hilarious collection of reimagined fairy tales. Readers will be quick to recognize familiar faces like Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, and Snow White, but the recognition stops there. These archetypal figures, along with their stories, are subverted by macabre characterizations that see them turning into zombies, vampires, or worse. In White's nameless "scarytale" kingdom, monsters and little girls might be the same thing. Princes and princesses might be locked in towers (or coffins) for a good reason. Each story blurs the line between good and evil, such that the only true foe is misunderstanding. With clever wordplay and confused homonyms (hair/Herr; pea/pee), White makes it clear that spelling and meaning matter greatly. But staying alive matters most of all. Even when the plot is frightening, readers can rest assured that there's a joke around the corner. Short, adapted nursery rhymes separate stories and elicit chuckles. Occasional spot illustrations also provide comic relief with their cartoony, exaggerated quality. The real star of this romp, though, is the narrator. Equal parts Terry Pratchett and Lemony Snicket, the unnamed omniscient narrator relates each scarytale. Some stories are scarier (and cleverer) than others, but the consistency of tone will have readers eagerly flipping from story to story. VERDICT For larger collections. This book will circulate best where fairy-tale retellings-especially Adam Gidwitz's "A Tale Dark and Grimm" series-remain popular.-Alec Chunn, Eugene Public Library, OR

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May 1, 2017
Grades 4-7 What do you get when you blend the bloodier, scarier appeal of fairy tales with zombies and vampires and then mix in broad humor based on linguistic mix-ups? A mash-up that will appeal more to fans of Goosebumps or Adam Gidwitz's A Tale Dark and Grimm (2010) than to those who like the Disneyfied tales. In White's version, Rapunzel sports a Mohawk and is the proud owner of a very, very long snake named Herr; Snow White's more likely to drain you dry than smile sweetly; and Cinderella is prone to arsonso no live cinders are allowed in her fireplace. The common thread that ties the stories together is the stepmotherjust onewho tries her best to keep all her oddball stepchildren from wreaking complete destruction. Can her most unlikely charge, Jack, who infamously mixes up the ingredients of pease porridge with pee, actually save the day? Readers who like this kind of humor will eat it up (just don't taste the porridge). A clever, if at times slightly disgusting, read. HIGH-DEMAND BACKSTORY: White's a reliable best-seller in YA, and she tackles a consistently high-interest topic in this foray into middle gradean irresistible match.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2017, American Library Association.)

January 1, 2018
One stepmother works hard to keep all her stepchildren safe as danger spreads across the kingdom in this mock-horror-themed collection of fractured fairy tales. White's satirical omniscient narrator keeps the tone light as familiar characters' stories are upended (e.g., Snow White is a vampire, Cinderella is an arsonist). Nursery-rhyme parodies introduce each chapter, while black-and-white spot illustrations reinforce the narrative.

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